Musical Mum #2
"Order up, two orders of buffalo wings, a side of fries and a budweiser!"
These are the words (or some variation) I hear everyday, all day. I shuffle from table to table and watch the middle aged men, hair graying with bald spots poking through as they eye me and sit to eat their wings and watch the game. I watch as they look me up and down. Starting with my hair and face and ending up on my growing belly. I see their faces go from interest in my face, to extreme interest in my breasts to total disgust as they look at my pregnant belly that hangs over my hot pants. I know I should have stopped working a long time ago, lord knows if it weren't for the fear of lawsuit they would have fired me as soon as I started showing. But, it pays the bills and besides, when its all over I think this is the key to my happiness.
I met him the night of the final four basketball game. I had just worked two shifts, back to back, and my hot pants were riding up my ass, feet were killing me and the last thing I wanted was to be hit on. But, this guy wasn't like the rest. He sat in the corner of the bar and didn't order wings (this immediately set him apart) and, instead of blantantly hitting on me like they usually do, he just said hello. He didn't grope, or say anything inappropriate, he just said hi. When I got off of my shift that night he was waiting outside the door. He said that he thought I had sad eyes and asked me if I wanted to get some coffee. I said yes without even thinking.
It started just like that, a cup of coffee, a late night movie, dinner, all normal beginning of the relationship stuff except I felt different. I felt better than I ever had before, and I knew it was because of him. He didn't treat me like the other boys I knew. Maybe thats because he was a man, at least 20 years my senior. I knew this was the kind of man you could settle down with. I wasn't even old enough to (legally) drink the budweiser I served all night long, but this much I knew. The only thing that bothered me was he would never stay a whole night with me. He would wait for me after work and we would go to a movie, come back to my place and make love but, almost immediately afterwards, he would leave. At first I thought he was just being respectful, but then it started to bother me.
My suspcions got the best of me and I followed him home one night. I drove and drove until I hit the suburbs, a part of Jersey I had never been before. He pulled up into this amazing house, the kind with a big front yard and a basketball hoop in the driveway. I watched as he entered his house, kissed his wife and tossled his teengage son's hair. It was then I knew what I had to do.
The next time I saw him I knew I had to pretend like everything was fine. If I confronted him he would either lie or worse, leave me. I couldn't handle either reality. And, that night when we made love I told him I put my diaphram in, but I didn't. Shortly after that I got pregnant. I knew that was the only way to gurantee he would stay in my life.
So, I put up with the staring, and the laughing behind my back. Its only been 4 months even though he hasn't been around in awhile I know he will come back. And, I can't wait until the day he comes back and sees me. At first, he might be mad, but I believe in my heart that he will know that this proves that we are meant to be together. This baby is the key to my every happiness and it will all work out in the end. I mean, how can it not?
These are the words (or some variation) I hear everyday, all day. I shuffle from table to table and watch the middle aged men, hair graying with bald spots poking through as they eye me and sit to eat their wings and watch the game. I watch as they look me up and down. Starting with my hair and face and ending up on my growing belly. I see their faces go from interest in my face, to extreme interest in my breasts to total disgust as they look at my pregnant belly that hangs over my hot pants. I know I should have stopped working a long time ago, lord knows if it weren't for the fear of lawsuit they would have fired me as soon as I started showing. But, it pays the bills and besides, when its all over I think this is the key to my happiness.
I met him the night of the final four basketball game. I had just worked two shifts, back to back, and my hot pants were riding up my ass, feet were killing me and the last thing I wanted was to be hit on. But, this guy wasn't like the rest. He sat in the corner of the bar and didn't order wings (this immediately set him apart) and, instead of blantantly hitting on me like they usually do, he just said hello. He didn't grope, or say anything inappropriate, he just said hi. When I got off of my shift that night he was waiting outside the door. He said that he thought I had sad eyes and asked me if I wanted to get some coffee. I said yes without even thinking.
It started just like that, a cup of coffee, a late night movie, dinner, all normal beginning of the relationship stuff except I felt different. I felt better than I ever had before, and I knew it was because of him. He didn't treat me like the other boys I knew. Maybe thats because he was a man, at least 20 years my senior. I knew this was the kind of man you could settle down with. I wasn't even old enough to (legally) drink the budweiser I served all night long, but this much I knew. The only thing that bothered me was he would never stay a whole night with me. He would wait for me after work and we would go to a movie, come back to my place and make love but, almost immediately afterwards, he would leave. At first I thought he was just being respectful, but then it started to bother me.
My suspcions got the best of me and I followed him home one night. I drove and drove until I hit the suburbs, a part of Jersey I had never been before. He pulled up into this amazing house, the kind with a big front yard and a basketball hoop in the driveway. I watched as he entered his house, kissed his wife and tossled his teengage son's hair. It was then I knew what I had to do.
The next time I saw him I knew I had to pretend like everything was fine. If I confronted him he would either lie or worse, leave me. I couldn't handle either reality. And, that night when we made love I told him I put my diaphram in, but I didn't. Shortly after that I got pregnant. I knew that was the only way to gurantee he would stay in my life.
So, I put up with the staring, and the laughing behind my back. Its only been 4 months even though he hasn't been around in awhile I know he will come back. And, I can't wait until the day he comes back and sees me. At first, he might be mad, but I believe in my heart that he will know that this proves that we are meant to be together. This baby is the key to my every happiness and it will all work out in the end. I mean, how can it not?
posted by Musical Mum at 7:17 PM
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