Eager Eucalyptus #2
By world standards, I have a very easy life. Unlike so many others, I don't have to eke out a living on the streets, scrounging through garbage to find food and constantly seeking shelter in rainstorms. My house is warm, my bed is soft, and I've got people in my life who love me.
Still, though, life can be hard: there are times when I yearn for a mate, someone to love me and have a family with. There hasn't been anyone like that in my life in a long, long time. There are times when it seems like the walls of this house are a prison, and times when I just want to roll around in the grass and watch the birds all day.
When I'm feeling down, though, I always know where I can go to relax. When life's stresses are on me, to escape, I go to the same place: the bathroom.
It sounds strange, right? Like, why would you go to the bathroom? And I don't know. I love the shower curtains in my bathroom, so tall and smooth. I love back behind the toilet, with the twisting pipes and shadowy areas. I love the sink and the bath mats, and I love the shower basin so smooth and weird feeling. It's not like any place else in the house. Even the kitchen doesn't have any of this stuff.
Even the shower itself, I love to watch. Mostly, I'm afraid of water, but the shower is different. Just watching the water droplets fall and splash and fall and splash. I love it. I'm still scared of water, and even steam makes me a little freaked, so I usually prefer to have the door open--phobias, right? Who can explain them.
Don't think I'm too strange, but sometimes at night I'll just sit in there and hang out, thinking my thoughts while the rest of the world sleeps. If you listen closely you can hear a lot at night: the heavy breathing coming from people's bedrooms, the wind outside, the last remnants of the night's traffic. It's a warm, safe house, in the middle of a hard world.
I miss my mom, sometimes; and I miss my family. And at night when the stress of life is hard, and the litter box is dirty, and the food dish is empty and there's no water in the dish, and I realize that I am kept, that I can't hunt for what I need, wouldn't even know how to begin; at night sometimes I'll just hide behind the toilet and listen.
And I feel okay.
Still, though, life can be hard: there are times when I yearn for a mate, someone to love me and have a family with. There hasn't been anyone like that in my life in a long, long time. There are times when it seems like the walls of this house are a prison, and times when I just want to roll around in the grass and watch the birds all day.
When I'm feeling down, though, I always know where I can go to relax. When life's stresses are on me, to escape, I go to the same place: the bathroom.
It sounds strange, right? Like, why would you go to the bathroom? And I don't know. I love the shower curtains in my bathroom, so tall and smooth. I love back behind the toilet, with the twisting pipes and shadowy areas. I love the sink and the bath mats, and I love the shower basin so smooth and weird feeling. It's not like any place else in the house. Even the kitchen doesn't have any of this stuff.
Even the shower itself, I love to watch. Mostly, I'm afraid of water, but the shower is different. Just watching the water droplets fall and splash and fall and splash. I love it. I'm still scared of water, and even steam makes me a little freaked, so I usually prefer to have the door open--phobias, right? Who can explain them.
Don't think I'm too strange, but sometimes at night I'll just sit in there and hang out, thinking my thoughts while the rest of the world sleeps. If you listen closely you can hear a lot at night: the heavy breathing coming from people's bedrooms, the wind outside, the last remnants of the night's traffic. It's a warm, safe house, in the middle of a hard world.
I miss my mom, sometimes; and I miss my family. And at night when the stress of life is hard, and the litter box is dirty, and the food dish is empty and there's no water in the dish, and I realize that I am kept, that I can't hunt for what I need, wouldn't even know how to begin; at night sometimes I'll just hide behind the toilet and listen.
And I feel okay.
posted by Eager Eucalyptus at 2:40 PM
1 Comments:
Loving the slight twist at the end where it turns out to be a kitty :)
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